Backstreets back alright

well the backstreet boys may not be back again but i am. Now you may wonder it what ways am I back.

|-back to this blog? yes
|-back to blogging? eh?
|-back home? As you may or may not know I had a very nasty experience at sarah lawrence college that has necessitated me taking a year off. as such, for the time being i'm back to the room I have had occupied for 13 years. I will in time, once all wounds have healed post a vivivd retelling of my 9 days wandering pandaemonium, at least the parts I didn't disassociate away.
|-back to reality? did I ever live in reality is the question you should be asking. right now I'm at least in a parking orbit closer than I have been in a while.

\Hope to see you all again
starbuck
{yeah I been trying to get a really cool nick name. at college I was segway even thought I tried to put forth that everyone called me starbuck just didn't work. Although some elite american colleges still are under the impression that people call me ford. gave me a laugh every-time they sent me a letter with that false tone of friendship. still others think people call me god you would be amazed what slips past those guys.}
p.s. I not a member of the eastern standard tribe at the moment so to get an idea of what time I am awake have a look at what time it is in tokyo.

robby

six questions

YOU CAN ASK ME SIX QUESTIONS::
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.

No matter how random, revealing, rude, insightful or pointless

I promise to answer them completely truthfully

I will send the answers to any e-mail or post them publicly if you wish.

Fianlly got around to upateing it

I finally got around to updating my myspace have a look.
Find me on MySpace and be my friend!

they need names

My new ibook has just arrived and now it needs a name. Please leave suggestions in comments. Also I still need a name for my segway currently I am calling her ginger but it doesn't sit right. Any ideas are welcome.

Robert has new toy err tool

Well it finally happened I got a segway ht. That is right I am now the proud owner of a brand new segway ht I180 with extended range batteries. I have been riding around suburbia, the river front and several other cities that I have visited lately. It is quiet an amazing machine. Ever wonder what a magic carpet would feel like? Give me a call and get a demo, in just a few minutes you will find out. It feels like a hoverboard magic sneakers and a magic capert all rolled up into one. But instead of magic it uses technology. I always enjoy seeing how man can take his dreams and turn them into reality.

It has been a long time...

It has been a long time since I have posted here. Many things have happened but me and the truth still have a troubled relationship. Which is something I strive to repair. I have picked watching battlestar galetica. I did not watch it much last season but I watched the season primere and was blown away. So for the last few days I have been getting copies from a few friends and peers. What hooked me to the show was a song Metamorphosis 1 by phillip Glass. I keep playing this song over and over. It is somewhere on the net find it and give your ears a gift.

We hold these truths

If it is mine
If it was given to me as an inalienable right
Then why does it feel so good to give it away?

If some people believe that it is no more than a word?
Then why are so many people willing to take it away?
Freedom

king of the losers

guess what? I lost in all the races.
------------------
I have a few things I have been meaning to post but I am a wee bit tired and annoyed so I best not write in this state,

well

frell
another year another loss
no matter how hard i try i lose
here is hoping for vice

I'll tell you who I am if you agree to vote for me.

I unlike most people do not promise my votes to people. I would first need to know what I am voting in before I would consider voting for someone. I would then need to hear your speech and then I would make my decision. But once that comes to pass I will vote for you sure.

Thank You

Thank you those who left comments wishing me a happy birthday. I would thank you all in person, if i knew who you all where, but you all chose to shield your identities from me.

Anonymous I as stated previously I would me more than happy to give you a hug. But since I still do not know your identity I am unable to do so. I really want to know who you are but you have left few clues to your identity and as such I am still very much in the dark.

Thank you all
Robert

i.m at dreamer8815

tomorrow is my birthday

Tomorrow is my birthday and it will be like the last couple of them. I will get many very nice gifts from my parents. But beyond my immediate family no one really cares. Most years I don't really care but for some strange reason this year I do.

It does not help that that signal has re invaded my dreams. I had worked so hard to squelch that flame in my dreams. I had done it , I had extinguished it. I had thought I had locked it away forever. But during my nap last night on the plane, that signal was back, that collection of thoughts had returned to haunt me. It had to remind me that I would never have it in reality.


(this is written like shit but I feel like shit right now)
Robert

Internet hug

sadly "Anonymous I" the only way I can currently give you a hug is by typing this.
x
If I knew who you where I would be more then happy to give you a face-to-face hug.

maybe this was not made clear

I have zero problem with no face-to-face communication. I only have a problem with this specific event. For the many reasons I have stated but also because every person there can express the ideas in the notes face-to-face (thank you commenter for allowing me to realize this).
Also note most of the time I participate in the "notes" event, because I have nothing better to do and fighting my little war does no good. But this year I did a friend hurt there knee so I spent the time making sure they were alright and kept them company. While doing this they asked don't you want to write notes to other people. I realized this face-to-face contact took precedence. So I crated the original post as a way to explain my ideological opposition to this event just incase any one excepted a note from me.

I received 4 notes. One type note from a teacher it was in french never translated it. another one a "joke" not with the simple words your hot in english and spanish. the third the only "real" note I received I responded my giving the person a big hug and a face-to-face interaction telling them how I felt. the final note was blank, yep someone left me a blank note.

Hope this clears up the issue.
robert

a little bit of insight

LAST PERSON WHO...

x. Slept in your bed:me
x. Saw you cry: I can not cry with lexapro
x. Made you cry: see above
x. You shared a drink with: no one I drink tea
x. You went to the movies with:no one
x. You went to the mall with: mom and dad
x. Yelled at you: no one
x. Sent you e-mail: apple
x. You Kissed: never been kissed


HAVE YOU EVER...

x. Said "I love you" and meant it: only to my mom and dad
x. Been to California: yep
x. Gotten in a fight with your pet: nope
x. Been to Hawaii: yes
x. Been to Mexico: yes
x. Been to Cuba: stupid laws
x. Danced naked: yep
x. Dreamed something really crazy & then it happened the next day:yes
x. Wish you were the opposite sex: yep

RANDOM TID BITS...

x. Do you have a crush on someone: duh
x. What book are you reading now: wonder boys "again" the politics fast food nation and one other one about a child savant
x. Worst feeling in the world: loneliness
x. Future son's name: ford
x. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal: there is one nearby
x. What's under your bed: weird nerdy crazy stuff
x. Favorite sports to watch: lax
x. Siblings: little brother
x. Location: louisville, ky
x. College plans: Simon's rock then vassar then med school
x. Piercings/tattoos: none

EXTRA STUFF...

x. Do you do drugs: nope
x. Do you drink: nope
x. Who is your best friend: hunter
x. What are you most scared of: being alone, developing schizophrenia
x. Where do you want to get married: hilltop over looking the sea
x. Who do you really hate: all those who are evil
x. Do you have a job: nope
x. Are you for world peace: yes

STUFF...

x. Have you ever liked someone you had no chance with: apparently so
x. Have you ever cried over something someone of the opposite sex did: yes
x. Do you have a "type" of person you always go after: there has been only one
x. Are you lonely right now: no
x. Do you want to get married: yes
x. Do you want kids: someday

FAVORITE...

x. Room in house: basement
x. Color:green, blue
x. Perfume or cologne: no
x. Month: october

IN THE LAST 96 HOURS, HAVE YOU...

x. Cried: no
x. Bought something: yes
x. Gotten sick: no
x. Sang: yep
x. Wanted to tell someone you loved them: yes
x. Missed someone: yep
x. Hugged someone: yes

part III

My working definition of stupid: making an error that could have been prevented by education of thoughtfulness.

Had a little more thought had been put into the whole idea of "notes" the phb's* could have came up with an alternate and much better system in which ideas and feeling could be expressed freely and openly with out making them come to be excepted at the end of a specific time frame. After thinking for a few more moments on the topic I realize "notes" an attempt to fix a problem, yet all they do is patch it, and while doing so propagates the problem "notes" tries to fix. The problem of people being unable to express there feelings to others for fear of ridicule . "Notes" patches this problem by providing a forum for people to express there feelings with the added ability to choose to be anonymous in expressing these feelings. One problem with this is that it only allows this flow to happen at a yearly event for a few hours. The second problem with this that it reinforces the idea that the only ways to express ideas and feelings with out fear of ridicule is to be an "anonymous coward".

What they should be doing attempting to change the society so that one has no fear of ridicule for expressing there feelings. And if they must insist on having a specific setting in which feelings are expressed they should not lock it up not a yearly event which only last for a few hours.By expanding the time-frame infinitely allows the notes to no longer be expected, and allows them to retain much more value in my mind.
Robert

p.s I think way to much into things don't I
* powers that be

I have no problem with notes.

I have no idea with "notes" in themselves. I just have a problem that a time is set aside where they become excepted. I like writing notes. I just have problems when a good idea has to be shoved in to a nice little slot. When something is excepted it loses half its value at least in my mind.

Notes

Lcs has a stupid tradition (imho) of putting notes in envelops for other people during retreat. The notes are supposed to all us time express ideas or feelings to our other students. I think this is a bad idea. We should have our friends know how we feel about them by our actions not by some note that we write in under a minute. Now notes in themselves I have no problem with I have the problem that we set aside a time when they become expected someone people like to put more thought in things that a quick note. So if you wanted a note from me I am sorry it is just not something I do. I choose to give hugs so feel free to ask for one.

I want to be a member of the green lantern corps

"In brightest day, in blackest night,
no evil shall escape my sight!
Let those who worship evil's might,
beware my power.. Green Lantern's light!"
-Alan Scott, the Golden Age Green Lantern
[1943, credited to Alfred Bester]
-Hal Jordan of Earth

ip tracking

it would be obscenely easy for me to track the ip address of the people that come to this site. If you have ever meet me you would know that I am a privacy nut. And that is why I do not log the ip's of people that come to my site then do a trace-route to find where they are. I want people to volunteer the information and not have me take it from them. so if you would not mind leave your name at the end of your comment. Pretty please with sugar on top.